Friends don't let friends take home ugly men
 *    Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

 The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
 *    Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

 Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
 *    Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

 Beauty is only a light switch away.
 *    Perkins Library.  Duke University.  Durham, North Carolina.

 If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's
 all get wasted  together and have the time of our lives.
 *    Armand's Pizza.  Washington, DC

 Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
*    Rest stop off Route 81.  West Virginia.

 God made pot.  Man made beer.  Who do you trust?
 *    The Irish Times.  Washington, DC

  Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
 *    The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

   No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of
 putting up with her shit.
 *    Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill.  Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

  At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
 *    Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.

  It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
 *    Written in the dust on the back of a bus.Wickenburg,Arizona.

  Make love, not war.-Hell, do both, get married!
 *    Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.

  God is dead. -Nietzsche
  Nietzsche is dead. -God
 *    The Tombs Restaurant.  Washington, DC

  If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
 *    Revolution Books.  New York, New York.

  A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going
 to have trouble with it.
 *    Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort.  Dallas, Texas.

 JESUS SAVES!  But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
 *    Men's restroom, American University.  Washington, DC

 If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
      Congress!
 *    Men's restroom, House of Representatives.  Washington,D.C.

 Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers
 *    Inside toilet stall door, Men's restroom, Country Club, San Francisco.

 Express Lane: Five beers or less
 *    Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's.  Phoenix, AZ.

  You're too good for him.
 *    Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's.Beverly Hills, CA.

  No wonder you always go home alone.
 *    Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's.  Beverly Hills, CA.