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 How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to
do  the dishes?

   A:      Both of them.
 

 Why did the man cross the road?

 A:        He heard the chicken was a slut.
 

 Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

 A:        They won't stop to ask directions.
 

 What do men and sperm have in common?

 A:        They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human  being.
 

 How does a man show that he is planning for the future?

 A:         He buys two cases of beer.
 

 Why are blonde jokes so short?

 A:         So men can remember them.
 

 How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

 A:         We don't know; it has never happened.
 

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good  looking?

 A:         They all already have boyfriends.
 

 What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

 A:         A widow.
 

 When do you care for a man's company?

 A:        When he owns it.
 

 What are a woman's four favorite animals?

 A:         A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the
 bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all.
 

 Why are married women heavier than single women?

 A:        Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
      Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
 

 How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?

 A:         His hand caught fire.
 

 How do you get a man to do sit-ups?

 A:         Put the remote control between his toes
 

 What did God say after creating man?

 A:      I must be able to do better than that.
 

 How are men and parking spots alike?

 A:   Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.
 

 What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

 A:   They're married.
 

 Whats the difference between a man and a pig?

 A:   A pig doesn't act like a man when it gets drunk.