Some reasons why the human race has probably evolved as far as it can:
The following are actual label instructions on consumer goods

 On Sears hairdryer:
 Do not use while sleeping.
 (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

 On a bag of Fritos:
 You could be a winner! No purchase necessary - Details inside.
 (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions:  Use like regular soap.
 (and that would be how?)

 On some Swanson frozen dinners:
 Serving suggestion: Defrost.
 (But it's *just* a suggestion!)

 On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
 (Damn!)

 On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
 (Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)

 On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
 Do not iron clothes on body.
 (But wouldn't that save more time?) & (Whose body?)

 On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
 Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

 On Nytol sleep aid:
 Warning: may cause drowsiness.
 (One would hope!)

 On a Korean kitchen knife:
 Warning keep out of children.
 (Oh please?)

 On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
 For indoor or outdoor use only.
 (As opposed to use in outer space.)

 On a Japanese food processor:
 Not to be used for the other use.
 (Now I'm curious.)

 On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
 (but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
 Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
 (have a lobotomy)

 On a Swedish chain saw:
 Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
 (What is this, a home castration kit?)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
 (Surprise, surprise!)