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Mary blushed furiously as she stood up. She said: "Sir,
how dare you ask
such a question? I will complain to my parents, who will
complain to the
principal."
The male teacher was taken aback at first by Mary's reaction.
Then, as
understanding dawned on him, he called for another pupil,
this time a
volunteer. Lily put up her hand. "Yes, Lily?"
"Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the eye."
"Very good. Thanks, Lily," said the male teacher.
He then turned to the
1st girl, who threatened to complain to her parents and
principal.
"Well, Mary, I have 3 things to tell you: First,
you have NOT done your
homework, Second, you have a DIRTY mind, and thirdly,
I fear, one day,
you are going to be sadly disappointed."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fellow bought a new Porsche and was out on an interstate
for a nice
evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was
blowing
through his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle
jumped up to 80 m.p.h. he suddenly saw a flashing red
and blue light
behind him. "There ain't no way they can catch
a Porsche," he
thought to himself and opened her up further.
The needle hit 90, 100,110 and finally 120 with
the lights still
behind him. "What in hell am I doing?" he thought
and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without
a word and examined
it and the car. "I've had a tough shift and this
is my last pull
over. I don't feel like more paperwork so
if you can give me an
excuse for your driving so fast, that I haven't heard
before, you can go!"
"Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man
said, "and I was
afraid you were trying to give her back!
Needless to say he didn't get a ticket :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man went to a strange town to be the guest speaker at
a business
meeting. When he arrived at his motel, he found
he had a lot of time
before the meeting so he got the directions for a nearby
golf course
from the clerk.
While playing on the front nine, he thought over his impending
speech
and became confused as to where he was on the course.
Looking
around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He
walked up to her,
explained the situation and asked her if she knew what
hole he was
playing.
She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole
behind me, so
you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and
went back to
his golf.
On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached
her again with the same request.
She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind
me, so you
must be on the 13th hole." Once again he thanked
her and
returned to his play.
He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where
he saw the
same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked
the bartender if
he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was
a sales lady and
played the course often.
He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in
appreciation
for your help. I understand that you are in the
sales profession.
I'm in sales also. What do you sell?"
She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh."
"No, I wouldn't"
"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I sell Tampax."
With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.
She said, "See I knew you would laugh!"
"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied, "I'm a
toilet paper
salesman, so I'm still a hole behind you!"