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1. Your potted plants stay alive.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is
absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the
fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when
you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favorite song on the
elevator at work.
6. You carry an umbrella. You watch
the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead
of hookup and breakup.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation
time to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify
as 'dressed up,'
10. You're the one calling the police
because those darn kids next
door don't know how to turn down the
stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable
telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell
closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and
your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead
of McDonald's.
15. Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6
p.m.
17. Dinner and a movie - The whole date
instead of the beginning of one.
18. MTV News is no longer your primary
source for information.
19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen
and antacids, not
condoms and pregnancy test kits.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer
'pretty good stuff,'
21. You actually eat breakfast foods
at breakfast time.
22. Grocery lists are longer than macaroni
& cheese, diet Pepsi & Ho-Ho's.
23. "I just can't drink the way I used
to" replaces "I'm never
going to drink that much again,"
24. Over 90% of the time you spend in
front of a computer is for real work.
25. You don't get liquored up at home to save
money before going to a bar.